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Comments for 'Manufactured Destiny: Chapter 1' |
Hunter_Killer
6:04 pm | January 17, 2004
[warm welcome]Hello, Sorry it took me so long to comment. My computer's Pure Crap.
Three things.
1. Great storyline, abeit the fact I WAS TOTALY CONFUSED from word 5 to the last word!!!! =D
2. Bloody good Grammer. As you can tell, I ain't got no Grammer.
3. Welcome to HBO Fan Fiction, man!!!![/warm welcome]
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MoZ
7:27 am | January 16, 2004
oh yeah, "something evil this way comes" was taken from a story or play or sumthin to that effect.
too many responses in the comments section .... hehehehe
MoZ
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MoZ
6:11 am | January 16, 2004
MasterGrunt, I was basically trying to build up some background first. Leave the reader with some suspense. The various plot lines will diverge some more but eventually come back together for the end (i hope).
Hawk & Shadow .... Thanks, was a bit intimidated after reading some serious stuff here. Hope you can check out the next installment, should be interesting ;)
MoZ
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Hawk7886
3:38 am | January 16, 2004
The only reason someone would 'rip you up' would be if you wrote something either:
1) Crappy.
2) Encripted.
3) Looked like a Second Grader wrote it.
Your story did none of this. In fact, it looked very professional. Welcome to HBO Fan-Fic.
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MasterGrunt
2:21 am | January 16, 2004
Will somebody pleaze tell me what heck is going on in this stroy. It all got so confusing. Oh and when you said something evil this way comes, I think you meant something evil comes this way.
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Shadowrunner
8:26 pm | January 15, 2004
Very neat. I can already tell this storyline is not quite ordinary, wich is good. You have good grammer and I'm surely going to read your next installment in this series.
Welcome to HBO fanfic :)
-Shad
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MoZ
6:36 pm | January 15, 2004
Would appreciate some criticism on this one. First try and all.
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