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Comments for 'After Halo (k) Part III' |
HELLJUMPER
10:48 pm | January 16, 2004
PVT. MENDOZA IS DA SHIT BIACH
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Kyle
9:50 pm | October 3, 2002
Maybe, MAYBE I'll put a 400 pd cortana into my story.
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Anonymous
9:48 pm | October 3, 2002
Don't forget to put a 400 pd cortana into your story!
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Kyle
9:45 pm | September 30, 2002
Well Wado, the UNSC covenant were the covenant who joined the UNSC after the battle of halo. Commander Mendoza is the son of Pvt. Mendoza from the game, and Jacob Halsey is the master scientist and marine who created the SPARTAN III. He is Dr. Catherine Halsey's son.
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Wado
4:23 pm | September 30, 2002
The writing is better. I don't think you need to slow down anymore. So your assignment is to pay more attention to when you use pronouns like in the following sentence from the story: A grunt with white armor appeared holding 2 fuel rod guns in each hand. A grunt lieutenant. He charged one up and fired it at a marine. His arm was gone. "AAAIIIYYYEEE!! THAT BURNS!" He screamed. "His" arm was gone? Whose, the grunt lieutenant or the marine? Also note that "A grunt lieutenant" isn't a complete sentence. Your second assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to please explain who all these people are: Jacob Hasley, Commander Mendoza, UNSC covenant? Good luck, keep up the writing.
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Kyle
12:54 pm | September 30, 2002
O.K. So my story sucked. I just wanna know who you are so I can put a virus in your computer. And if you send more mockeries, I'll whoop your butt.
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Kyle
12:54 pm | September 30, 2002
Shut up. Just shut up. No more mockeries.
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Mockery of a mockery of ANOTHER mokery of a Mockery of a mockery of ANOTHER mokery of a Mockery of
10:37 pm | September 29, 2002
Whoops! Sorry! Guess my story sucked again!
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Kyle
3:14 pm | September 29, 2002
By the way, who sent that?
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Mokery of mokery of Kyle
1:51 pm | September 29, 2002
Whoops! Guess I drove off a cliff again!
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Mokery of Kyle
2:36 am | September 29, 2002
Whoops! Sorry! Guess I was an idiot again!
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Kyle
2:18 am | September 29, 2002
Whoops! Sorry! Guess I went too fst again!
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Kyle
2:18 am | September 29, 2002
Whoops! Sorry! Guess I went too fst again!
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Kyle
2:18 am | September 29, 2002
Whoops! Sorry! Guess I went too fst again!
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el_halo_diablo
5:58 pm | September 28, 2002
i want to be impressed, but yet again, it all went to fast, and I don't want to bitch about the story, cause I feel like a total ass when I do(i feel like that Simon dude on American Idol, lol).
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Kyle
2:17 pm | September 28, 2002
Hope that I didn't make any mistakes. If I did, SORRY!!!!!!!
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