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Comments for 'An Unlikely Alliance part one' |
thoridan
3:36 am | July 1, 2003
im back he he he
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grylsy
6:03 am | May 26, 2003
the title of the story comes from the next 2 chapters!!!
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thoridan
9:57 pm | April 14, 2003
Put the next one on already im getting bord waiting for it.
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Person
3:38 pm | April 14, 2003
The title does not really go with the story, but still. It was a good story.
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thoridan
3:30 am | April 14, 2003
a few gramar and spelling mistakes , a lot of run on scentences but overall it was a grat story i look forward to reading your next part.
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grylsy
9:39 am | April 13, 2003
my next part wont be on for awhile going away for a few days...
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el_halo_diablo
11:00 am | April 12, 2003
Well if you used the word supercalifragalisticexpialidocious alot in a sentence, that could get pretty big also.
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grylsy
6:29 am | April 12, 2003
ah huh, I'll try and fix up any mishaps next time.
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Sarge
10:08 pm | April 11, 2003
Yah I noticed that even in the very first sentence lol its like their was a fire from an ma5b in the tunnel fired by the Private who was firing... heh reminded me of the British Parliament sentence the longest real sentence recorded or something like that...
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Shadow Spartan
11:53 am | April 11, 2003
wow man, this wasn't bad, i liked it, keep it up
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Dispraiser
1:53 am | April 11, 2003
Most the time I preach to use more complex sentances than "see Master Chief run. He runs fast. He killed a million grunts." This is the one case where your sentances, or really anyones are too big.
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James Kinsella
1:05 am | April 11, 2003
I liked it, but the sentences were a tad run-on. Send the next in soon!
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grylsy
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
i should finish this someday...
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