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Comments for 'After First Strike: part three'



Elliott2020
6:54 pm | June 30, 2004
To everyone,

I made another copy of this story because I forgot to make my other one part of my series.
Nick Kang
5:02 pm | June 27, 2004
This story has already been posted down below...

NK
Slit Throat
2:29 am | June 27, 2004
Well, you used the code. There are some other things to take into consideration though:

Start each line of dialogue with a new paragraph. This helps make the story cleaner and easier to understand.

Stick to one tense. You jumped around quite a bit, especially in the beginning.

Marines should be capitalized, as should Helljumpers.

I saw few grammar or spelling errors; that's good.

Overall, I'd say 7/10. Not too bad.


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