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Comments for 'Its Just One of Those Days (Prologue: 1)' |
Elfster
11:49 am | July 10, 2003
Ya, actually, i was completely aware of all the mistakes, I just didn't have a spell check and didn't want to go through and correct everything.
In other news (=P) I have a sneak peak at the next chapter. Enjoy!:
When he could see again he was on the ground, with a limp leg hanging infront of him, and the smell of smoke littering the lifeboat.
"Ugghh...." he tried to get up but there was an aching pain in his thigh.
"Cheif? CHEIF!? Can you hear me??.."
He pulled himself up and held onto one of the seats.
"Are you alright? Can you move?"
"What does it look like?"
He looked around...
The pilot was hunched in the chair, two marines looked the same in their seats, and one marine was face down on the floor with blood gushing out his head, and two marines sprawled on the ground outside - One of them moved.
"Hey! You ok!?" he ran over to the marine and realized it was Pvt. Johnson.
"Thank god, I thought I was the only one who made it out alive."
"Never doubt a Spartan." he helped Johnson to his feet. They looked around.
There were supplies scattered around, but no signs of life.
he sighed, "Gather up anything you need. and lets get outa here, before someone... or someTHING finds us...
"Alert! I'm picking up multiple Covenant dropships scattered throughout this area, We should get moving."
"Right."
Johnson picked up his rocket launcher, which he couldn't hold when they crashed, and he picked up a standard assault rifle and all the clips he could carry, which was 10. He had 2 rockets in his launcher and 2 spare. The Cheif picked up a pistol and 10 clips, also the standard assualt rifle and as many clips as he could find for it.
The humming of a Covenant dropship was heard in the distance.
"Lets get the hell outa here." They jogged across the metal bridge that went across the waterfall and proceeded up the hill. "Shit..." he pointed out 2 banshees in the distance, a small squad of Covenant up ahead, and a dropship of them coming across the bridge. "We're gonna need those rockets."
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Jamirus99
9:57 pm | July 9, 2003
Another fan fic that's choppy! Dude, read it over before you send it in, and make sure you write complete sentences. Otherwise, a pleasure to read, falling into that rare niche thats halfway between comedy and action. I particularly liked the ending. ;)
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Elfster
3:45 pm | July 9, 2003
Cool )
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Bean
3:43 pm | July 9, 2003
looking good
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Steele
3:21 pm | July 9, 2003
Pretty good, pretty good...
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