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Comments for 'Derailed Part 1' |
Arthur Wellesly
9:48 pm | August 28, 2003
I see. As a relative newcomer, I haven't read many of your previous fictions.
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Dispraiser
2:40 am | August 28, 2003
ALL of my fanfics take place on and around Lunar 4. They take place between 2525 and 2548.
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Walker
9:43 pm | August 27, 2003
paragraphs, man, paragraphs. its hard to understand what's going on when everything looks like one big jumble of words. i couldn't really understand your story because of this, so i can't really give much of a rating.
~but~
from what i could read the writing was very well done. in addition to a standing ovation, i give you a 10/10.
like Art Welly down there, i also look forward to reading the rest of this series, and hope you'll comment on some of mine.
Good luck in all your endeavors.
-Walker, author, "Last of the Walking Dead"
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monitor101
8:17 pm | August 27, 2003
LOL and yet again Lunar 4 good Dispraiser! 10/10
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Arthur Wellesly
6:45 pm | August 27, 2003
Again, Dispraiser, a great story with some top notch writing. Interesting how this, too, takes place on Lunar 4 around the same time but from, I gather, a different perspective.
I will say only this: break up your paragraphs more frequently. It gets hard to read and plus it is better organized to break it down into smaller chunks. Also, I noticed one grammatical error near the beginning, but I doubt I can attribute that to ignorance of the english language.
I will definitely look forward to reading the rest of this series.
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Wiley
3:05 pm | August 27, 2003
Man, wish I was that lucky.
9.5/10
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