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Comments for 'Fight for New Tatley (Chapter 1: Taken by Surprise)'



Helljumper
7:03 am | December 16, 2003
hey cold blooded, i really enjoyed reading this series. Its hot and I like the way that you right. Keep those coming and check out my story Battle for Tectron.
teemus
4:52 pm | November 27, 2003
Ive read all three of the ones out and i cant wait till the next one. The only thing in this that needs to be improved is more fighting.
CoLd BlooDed
2:50 am | November 19, 2003
Ya I know, that part I realized AFTER I posted it, one of my mistakes. Maybe I just put it there because they weren't expecting to be attacked, I forget why I did write it.
Walker
2:33 am | November 19, 2003
Sounds good. Spelling could use a bit of tweaking, but it wasn't much of a problem. The dialogue was pretty good, except for "We are under attack, sir, if I may say so." No duh. Other than that, I can't wait till the next installment. 9.2/10.

Semper Fi

-Walker
Mainevent
12:29 pm | November 18, 2003
Good pace, good spelling/grammar, and you used the code. Not much more to ask for is there?
CoLd BlooDed
3:58 am | November 18, 2003
haha ya i no what ur talking about now...continue to read my stories from what i've read from ur stories they're really good :) and i could do with some critiscm.
mainevent
3:11 am | November 18, 2003
the pseudocode, the html...you know "the code"...like matrix code...
CoLd BlooDed
1:14 am | November 18, 2003
the code?
monitor101
10:34 pm | November 17, 2003
Pretty good I liked it. 10/10
CoLd BlooDed
4:07 pm | November 17, 2003
haha sorry for the quick ending for anyone who read this, next chapter is action.


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