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Comments for 'Chapter Four: Rise of the Phoenix'



Alpha Lance
3:59 pm | September 14, 2003
that was a good story.
Blue Jaguar
11:40 am | September 10, 2003
I was saying Impact fragmentation just to clarify that the grenade detonated on impact, some grenades detonate on a timer, but an Impact frag detonates on contact. But yeah, impact frag probably would have worked fine
Mainevent
8:54 pm | September 9, 2003
You don't have to say impact fragmentation grenade.

You can just say fragmentation or simply frag grenade.
Blue Jaguar
7:24 pm | September 9, 2003
halfway through the chapter* the part where i screwed up
Sergeant B
7:15 pm | September 9, 2003
Good. I don't think there is any errors.
Brendan Harther
7:15 pm | September 9, 2003
Good. But still is shit, but at least not bullshit.
Blue Jaguar
10:03 am | September 9, 2003
"I got him pinned down!" The Private yelled, while another one through an impact fragmentation grenade behind a crate. The grenade exploded upon impact and the body of a marine flew out from behind the crate.

This is how a paragraph was written, I didn't catch it before I submitted it, its supposed to be

"I got him pinned down!" The Private yelled, while another one through an impact fragmentation grenade behind a crate. The grenade exploded upon impact and the body of a Jackal flew out from behind the crate.


This is more than halfway through the story, but just barely.


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