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Comments for 'Halo: Standing Firm Part II' |
Xzilen
1:41 am | November 29, 2002
I personally believe Cruisers are bigger. In FoR it even states that they were only twenty crusiers left and they were the biggest ships ever built by man.
For instance the flagship of the battle of Sigma Octanus was the Leviathen, that was a crusier.
The best Crusier ever though was PoA.... Simply because Captain Keyes worked with it and its structure was so good...
Yea, others may say I'm a "mark" for saying that, but whatever...
Yup, I blabbered uselessly lol.
Spoiler below:
The Covenant will return.... and based on Wado's suggestions I'm going to try to have more twists.
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Wado
5:35 am | November 28, 2002
Was it in FoR that the Destroyers were bigger than Cruisers. I do remember reading that somewhere, maybe on the Story Page. Hmm... that would make it different than the modern US navy where destroyers play the role of escorts and hunt down submarines, etc.
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Knightmare(MM
2:46 am | November 28, 2002
I might suggest something. Cruisers aren't quite as strong as Destroyers, they're typically your ship-of-the-line badasses with high armaments. Cruisers cover a variety of things and again, aren't as strong in the warfare department. I figure there shoulda been ONE destroyer and TWO cruisers. Even then I'd name them something different... Like Battle Cruiser or Strike Cruiser.... Not just Cruiser.
One might thing it was a car... the AT-33 Cruiser, your new honda civic... found at your local covie dealer.
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Vero
2:01 am | November 28, 2002
Nice story. I kinda like the jump between the Space and the ground like The halo book did. Good job doing that. The space battle seemed to go by a little fast but that is okay. Keep up your "Study Hall" work :)
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Xzilen
1:45 am | November 28, 2002
To Wado, good idea, the taking a break and describing what else is going on would really work. I don't think I conveyed Liptons emotions enough in that.
Neco, the Covenant at Reach absolutely overwhelmed the Humans. How that one ship kept fighting I don't know, because for the rest of the book, things like that didn't happen.
I was worried that taking out the Covenant without loss would be bad, but I guess I choose that because they didn't have enough ships.
Thanks for the feedback, it has helped greatly...
For the next part expect ground battles, and a few losses later on for the Humans. It will be a little while before the next one comes out because I usually write during study hall in school :)
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Neco Divad
9:04 pm | November 27, 2002
I find that it's best to write blow-by-blow, take a brake for a few hours, read your story several times for any errors, and then contenue writing. It takes longer, but is better in the long run. I learned that with my first story.
I thought that it was just too...well...one sided. The humans beat them with no casualties. I might need to read it again, but in the fall of reach is says that the kill racio is 3-1, Covies favored. I was always thinking that the Covies could take out a human ship with only around 3 hits, fire several plasma rounds a minute, and take 4-6 mac rounds. Remember the ship that was first incountered by MC? It took a mac right through it but it still fought.
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Wado
7:41 pm | November 27, 2002
Action writing can be a fickle thing, some people like the play-by-play and others like more of an overview with nice descriptions.
I thought the little ship diagram was a nice touch, although 2-dimensional, it got the point across. The battle was perhaps a little too much play-by-play for its length, it is hard for me to explain but everyting appeared to go pretty much text book (as planned). When you describe play-by-play sometimes it helps to take breathers and give a summary of what is going on. For example, take the battle that you wrote about and try to write it where the Covenant launched empty dropships just to draw fire away from the capital ships, then more Covenant ships slipped in behind the UNSC forces. With strictly play-by-play you can lose the impact of, "oh my god, the shit has really hit the fan." You, the writer, are the drummer. Don't always write to the same beat, mix up the rhythm (err... or write to a rhythm such as in poetry... ;) ).
But, like I said I enjoyed the story so no worries from me. :)
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Sephiroth
7:34 pm | November 27, 2002
Nice job. Keep up the good work.
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Xzilen
7:21 pm | November 27, 2002
Ugh I had alot of redudencys in there... I just noticed that :-\\
Thanks for the comments so far, I appreciate them greatly
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Xzilen
7:21 pm | November 27, 2002
What was wrong with it? I want to know so I can make improvments to the third then.
The one thing I didn't like is the lack of ships I had myself work with on the Covenant part...
Two MAC guns taking out two ships per shot is just so damned powerful, but its what they do.... Otherwise the ships just get their asses kicked...
So suggestions.....?
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Wado
6:56 pm | November 27, 2002
Nice, I enjoyed it.
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Neco Divad
3:54 pm | November 27, 2002
Very good. I liked it a lot. Not as good as the first, but still good.
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