halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'Session 01: Ground Funk'



Alpha Lance
12:45 am | September 13, 2003
We're geting there Sergant B, your starting to show some respect, and I'm stating to respect you again.
Sergeant B
12:30 am | September 13, 2003
Pretty good man. And hope Alpha Lance and I are at good terms.
Alpha Lance
9:21 pm | September 12, 2003
Well, I think Hell Yeah would be better than Hell Yea. Just my oppion, and like Wado, I don't really like the cockiness, but I like it, 9.5/10.
Vi3tl3l3oi 023(Return of CPT CRAPPER)
3:21 am | September 12, 2003
Hmm... well don't worry... part 2 is coming along fine... and a little bit long... i mean long... talking about ... yea...
Vi3tl3l3oi 023(Return of CPT CRAPPER)
10:39 pm | September 11, 2003
hahaha... yea i kno....i wrote teh on purpose... and yea... and Wado... don't worry... the experienced guys gonna come
Wado
9:36 pm | September 11, 2003
I like the title "Ground Funk."

You kept a good pace in the story without rushing it. My only complaint is that the battles seemed too one-sided, but that could just be me.

You may have heard this saying, as it has been used before in games and books: "It is the strong swimmers that usually drown in the tide." Meaning something like the strong swimmers drown because they overestimate their strength and underestimate the danger. Weak swimmers don't even go into the tide.

What I'm trying to say is that you story could use someone to balance out the cockiness of the main characters. Someone that has perhaps survived the Battle for Reach, someone with a bit of experience to know that not all Covenant are a walk in the park.
Wiley
8:08 pm | September 11, 2003
Whoops, sorry for the triple post.
Wiley
8:02 pm | September 11, 2003
This is good, really good. Just learn to spell "The".
9.88/10
Wiley
8:02 pm | September 11, 2003
This is good, really good. Just learn to spell "The".
9.88/10
Wiley
8:02 pm | September 11, 2003
This is good, really good. Just learn to spell "The".
9.88/10


bungie.org