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Comments for 'Scope (Chapter 1, New Arrivals)' |
IAmDelta
4:50 am | February 19, 2004
It was a little slow at the beginning. I probably would have stopped reading except you said it was your first and I wanted to give you some tips. Listen to MCC, he knows his stuff. I DID like the main character being a sniper, and by the end I was looking forward to a continuation, but again the first half was slow. You rambled a little bit. You could still relate the whole preparation phase, but do it more dynamically. Don't be afraid to take more words to say something. A longer story that holds the reader's attention is better than a short boring one. On the setting up of your story, use words to make it more intriguing. Instead of being attacked for an "unknown" reason, make it a "mysterious" reason, because now you are hinting to the reader that they have to continue reading to find out why. And when you proofread, notice things like saying the silvery thing (what was the purpose of that by the way?) was Covenant in paragraph one and then saying they didn't know if it was Covenant in paragraph two. And not to be mean, but the bold and italics stuff is all in the directions you're supposed to read BEFORE you post. Following directions saves everybody time... Any questions, feel free to ask, and good luck in the future.
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FOrunnER
2:53 am | February 18, 2004
My problem with the story wasnt so much the grammer as it was the seemingly unlimited forces the UNSC and Covenant were willing to throw in.
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Nick Kang
2:06 am | February 18, 2004
for Italics, [i]word[i/]
for bold, [b]word[b/]
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Helljumper
6:49 am | February 17, 2004
good one, you remind me of me. Sorry fellas i'm doing this college thing right now so no new stories for alittle bit. Silver Spartan, if you haven't, you should read my series Battle for Tectron
First to rise, last to fall
Helljumpers do it all
Feet first into Hell
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MC's Cousin
10:29 pm | February 16, 2004
Tips? You want tips? I'll try to give you some HELPFUL tips. Alright italics and bold stuff: [i] before the phrase or word you would like to be in italics, [i/] (that or [/i]. I'm out of practice. Switch the "i" for a "b" for bold. And on to the tips. You need to split up your "dialouge paragraphs". You seem to have all your dialouge all jumbled up. Press enter and have an indent for every different person who speaks (you knwo like in a book). It may seem like a lot of work but trust me, it will make it SO much better.
Signing Off
MCC
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The Silver Spartan
6:24 pm | February 16, 2004
Doh! I screwed up Diego's Rank in par. 4. Just wanted to point that out before you guys did
hehe... Hey how do you do bold and italics? I know [indent], just figured that out, go me! Thanks in advance for your HELPFUL tips.
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