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Comments for 'Halo:Sgt.Johnson's War Chapter 1:Earth' |
Sgt.Johnson
5:19 am | February 5, 2004
ok guy in a hole wtf? god i was just writting a fan fic and who said anyhting about mgs? it'll get better i promise i'll delter these two in awhilke and compltly redo them i just got really boared so i thoght what the hell? oh well
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Hawk7886
7:16 pm | February 2, 2004
Use basic punctuation and structure in your stories. It not only makes it look nice, it also makes it look like you graduated third grade.
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The Guy in a Hole
4:39 pm | February 2, 2004
I love you references to actual Halo: Combat Evolved (the game: Xbox not the PC) from the opening movie and the beack landing off the forth level, for lack of your a fat (not phat) POSER!
And by the way, having a name like that could get you stripped, tar and feathered (mob style), and stoned. Please don't write HALO fan fiction if your a MGS junky (bad views and difficult game play **frrt**).
P.S. HALO 2 was rated way over MGS snake eater in the awards.
Adios Amigos,
Back into the hole!
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MC's cousin
4:34 pm | February 2, 2004
Well for the lack of punctuation and grammer I will say that it looks like you use the old head for more than a hat rack....But, I would suggest that you at least TRY to come up with your own Sarge phrases or at least use the legendary version, (in case you forgot) "I don't car if it's gods own anti son of a ##### machine or a giant hoola hoop, we aint gonna let em' have it..." see, the folks down at bungie are the only ones that can really make that kinda thing sound good. Of course you will have to substitute ring for earth themes but still, my point is: be creative and push your head out of itself.
Signing out,
MCC
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wuxer_!
5:39 pm | February 1, 2004
Your sentences run on for a LONG time without commas or periods. The inspiration and overall writing style is good; but the grammar is awful. Try writing the story on Microsoft Word/Works/Notepad if you have a PC, then right click and select copy. Bring up the HBO fan fiction writer, right click and select paste. I haven't tried that yet so I hope it works;)
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Walker
3:20 pm | February 1, 2004
Well it seems you at least managed to read the books.
The grammar could use a little work. Use the code ([indent] to indent, [i]to make italic and [/i] to close italics, [b] to make bold and [/b] to close bold, etc.) But it was pretty okay overall.
8/10.
Semper Fi
-Walker
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