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Comments for 'The fall of the covenant part 3(of 3)' |
CoLd BlooDed
9:35 pm | March 21, 2004
Yeah, Jet, you still have quite a bit of work to do before you become a good (or at least decent) writer.
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A.P.N JJiggssaw
12:47 pm | March 10, 2004
Look, Jetboogieman, or anyone else who cares to take a look with MS word at this story, you will see what I mean. There are MANY mistakes to be found; but it isn't terrible. Your grammar needs fixing and your ideas are great.
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SpartanFortyFour
11:12 pm | March 9, 2004
Sorry, clicked post twice.
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SpartanFortyFour
11:12 pm | March 9, 2004
The only thing i could spot out was your repetitiveness, and punctuation.
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SpartanFortyFour
11:12 pm | March 9, 2004
The only thing i could spot out was your repetitiveness, and punctuation.
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Jetboogieman
5:55 pm | March 9, 2004
I do put it through spellchecks though
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Thomas Harper
12:29 pm | March 9, 2004
pretty much everything that i was goin to say has already been said so one thing i do have to say is try to work on ur length, it was a lil short but no biggie.
8/10
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Guardian
10:59 pm | March 8, 2004
its a pretty good story, though i have to agree with JJiggssaw, that it has some problems with grammar and stuff. I liked the plot. though i was hoping for a little more detail in things. But otherwise a 8.3 out of 10.
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JJiggssaw
9:06 pm | March 8, 2004
You're right. It was an improvement. You HAVE to put each story through spellcheck, though. I can't stress that enough. When i copy-pasted this onto MS word, there were a whole lot of little squiggly green lines, and most of them were for mistakes like COMMA USE and the PASSIVE VOICE. You must break up your sentences and try to use the direct past participle. Besides that, your ideas were pretty exciting and your story isn't bad. Keep writing.
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Jetboogieman
6:49 pm | March 8, 2004
Thats the best comment ive ever had so far I hope this story is an improvement to my past ones
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Snake Solid 117
6:36 pm | March 8, 2004
Pretty cool. You kind of just trailed off at the end, like you were trying to just get it over with. But that is true, "Unsung Heroes" are quite plentiful.
When you said there where hundreds of thousands of troops, I wanted to fire a nuclear missile into it...boom. Heh.
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