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Comments for 'The Inter-Galaxal Wars, Part One'



ONI_operative_343
10:44 pm | October 2, 2003
yeah... hawk made some good points...

however, i really liked it. im hopin to see more in this series
MasterGrunt
11:51 am | October 2, 2003
Awesome plot, but be warned I'm a real critic when it comes to advanced technology. I know the covenant have probably shared their plasma technology with the humans but don't get to far fetched with the new spartans.
Hunter_Killer
9:43 pm | September 30, 2003
Instead of out and out plagurisum, I used a few names from game, an idea or two from a few more. And so on and so forth.

Have a nice day.


- Hunter_Killer
Hunter_Killer
9:38 pm | September 30, 2003
[SPOILERS ABOUND ALERT!]

1. The other two races in the Confederation are the Kushans and Taiidans *CoughcoughHomeworld!!!coughcough*
2. Plasma is now outdated thechnowledy *Hint: too much heat* , and projectiles (MAC Guns, Assault Rifles and such) were a bust. Instead, Photonic and Ionic Energy powers Confed. Weapons, Ships and all stuff technolodgical.
3. Spartan VI Series will arive soon...

[/SPOILERS ABOUND ALERT!]

- Hunter_Killer
Alpha Lance
9:14 pm | September 30, 2003
Yeah, I do wish it was longer, but, good plot, good story.
Sterfrye36
2:58 pm | September 30, 2003
I likied it...I noticed your littl reference to Star Trek *CoughCaptainRikerCough*. lol. Anyway, what are the other two species/planets that joined the Confederation?
So, a few new questions:
1. Looks like Humans have got shields and pulse lasers on their ship. Do they use MAC guns or plasma torpedoes? Both?
2. Do they still use Assault/Battle Rifles or have they made the jump to plasma?
3. *The bombshell* Have more spartans been trained?
Walker
11:38 am | September 30, 2003
WHAT?! NO PART TEN?! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO US?! That's it, I have no reason to live anymore.
Hunter_Killer
11:13 am | September 30, 2003
P.S: A Unibuck is basicly $6 American Money. the Covenant, Taiidans, and Kushans all helped with it. Humans printed it. They are good with money. ;)
Hunter_Killer
11:13 am | September 30, 2003
I'm glad we're above flaming, Hawk. I forgive you for nit-picking, and you forgive me for writing(In you mind) crap. =)
Hunter_Killer
10:14 am | September 30, 2003
Chill, man. Chill. However, Louis Wu won't post Part Ten [FINALE],
and Halo 001 never really got off the ground.
Chil, yall'.

Semper Fi,

- Hunter_Killer
heffner189
2:27 am | September 30, 2003
This is a good story, I like how your main focus is the humans and covenant working together, nice touch. I'd rather read some more of your "A Series of Weird Events" though, or "Halo001".
Walker
2:24 am | September 30, 2003
Ain't was always proper grammar and commonly used by the European elite until commoners began using it slightly improperly. The elite stopped using something so obviously last-week and pretty much made it bad grammar. Also, this story was so-so, because the allusions to other sci-fis were a bit annoying. Unibuck. That's an interesting word; wouldn't it be "unidollar" rather than unibuck, buck being the slang that it is? All in all, 8.5/10. It could be a lot better, truth-be-told. I know this is in no way your best, even though the writing quality was pretty good.

Semper Fi

-Walker
Mainevent
12:18 am | September 30, 2003
Aint's a word, it's in the dictionary.

Ain't it?
Hawk7886
9:54 pm | September 29, 2003
Yeah, I tried not to slam the crap out of you. Although while reading, the same question came to mind over and over again: What the hell is a "unibuck"? =P

I've found my English teacher making loads of mistakes, but I try not to correct her.

My return is quite triumphant, and I'm sure you all missed me and thought of me every day :)

I can't wait to see what the next story holds, so hurry up and send it in, dammit!
Ishkabibbl
9:21 pm | September 29, 2003
3 of my teachers, one who has an english Masters degree, says ain't, lay off about that.
Ishkabibbl
9:21 pm | September 29, 2003
Oh and, Star control lol.
Hunter_Killer
7:28 pm | September 29, 2003
Thanks to the belivers.

Thanks also to the non belivers' Interesting Constructive Critisisum.
Hunter_Killer
7:17 pm | September 29, 2003
P.S: They're short cause I make em short! Bwahahah!!!! =)
Hunter_Killer
7:15 pm | September 29, 2003
It's called SLANG. People, and not everyone's an English Professor. =p
Hunter_Killer
7:15 pm | September 29, 2003
The triumphant return of Hawk to my humble stories, to make them even humbler(lol I made a new word!).
All are valid reasons.
Plus, this was like a prologe sorta, except I decided i don't like those. =)
PreacherCain
3:39 pm | September 29, 2003
This has an interesting premise, but it's let down a bit by the errors that Hawk has highlighted... Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that it's "Inter-Galactic", not "Inter-Galaxal".

I may be wrong, though.

Keep plugging away; you've got the bones of an interesting idea here, and I like the film-like switching of point-of-view and setting. It just needs some more involvement, character development and polishing...
Sergeant B
10:39 am | September 29, 2003
Same with Hawk. Really short but a good plot!!
Mainevent
10:33 am | September 29, 2003
LMAO

I think hawk just summed everything up.
Hawk7886
5:17 am | September 29, 2003
Why was the story so short? Why would a single ship contain 100 billion "unibucks" worth of ship material and cargo? Why would a highly educated ship Captain say "ain't"? Why would a nation officially name it's currency "unibucks"? Why would the Captain say "2G9D33DFR4724" directly to the ships computer instead of simply telling it to look up the highlighted "Ident"?

"unibucks" should be capatalized, and in the paragraph near the bottom containing "Several Minutes went by", "Minutes" shouldn't be capatalized. The sentence "The whole Logs couldn't be retrieved." makes no sense.

6.0/10


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