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Comments for 'After First Strike: part one' |
jen
2:00 pm | June 20, 2004
k Elliott2020 sry bout my comment there i didn't mean most of it i was just in a pissy mood
sry gain
sry bout the whole "chat room" thang it's done
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Tman
1:39 pm | June 20, 2004
Nick Kang
9:17 PM | June 17, 2004
Oh my head...what the fuck is going on?!?!?!?!
This ain't a chat room people, this is a place to post friggin' comments. Clean it up, you slobs.
NK
Did you read this, listen to it then. You dont have to take so seriously. Fart
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Jen
1:30 pm | June 20, 2004
i've never loved you
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jen
1:15 pm | June 20, 2004
dear Sir Asshole
first of all you have no right to call me jenny you fuckin bastard second half of times you called Sam's she answered and you asked to speak to me. You know what i'm glad you broke up with me, i've been shed of a burden. So you go rot in hell with your * you fuckin fucktard!
p.s
why don't you go suck whatevers left of your masculinity com tillo baka!yas hassel!
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Elliott2020
12:45 am | June 18, 2004
yes sir, sorry sir
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Nick Kang
8:17 pm | June 17, 2004
Oh my head...what the fuck is going on?!?!?!?!
This ain't a chat room people, this is a place to post friggin' comments. Clean it up, you slobs.
NK
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Elliott2020 & Kyle
5:36 pm | June 17, 2004
Dear Jen,
Can you please stop loving me. It's over, I don't like you anymore so stop talking or phoning me. It's getting annoying. Oh! and one more thing, I now I have been phoning you constetly for the past few days, but I did that so I can talk to Sam.
With full of hate, Elliott2020
Dear Jen,
When i said your not invited to my partet, I was only joking. P.s Kyle is The Lonesome Grunt.
(* Psycho theme Music)
Sincerly The Lonesome Grunt (He won't be so lonesome anymore, if you now what I mean...Jennnn.)
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The Lonesome Grunt a.k.a Kyle
5:33 pm | June 17, 2004
Youre not invited to my B-day /Mon partet/ the day in which i was born
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Elliott2020
5:24 pm | June 17, 2004
Jenny,
Why dont you burn in hell with your dictionaries.
Oh yah, when you type, there is a space inbetween the word and the comma...you dumbass/fucktard/dilhole/person I broke up with who still likes me but I dont, so go marry Peter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yah one more thing, message from The Lonesome Grunt (kyle), It is spelled alot So there.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HA HA HA!
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Sam and Jenny(a.k.a "The Bitches")
3:14 pm | June 17, 2004
Elliott2020,
I can't believe you made it into advanced English! OMG! It's called a DICTIONARY, use it sometime this century and you could really go places,DUMBASS! We didn't understand your story mainly because we don't know what the hell Halo is about and because your senentce structure sucks balls/crap/cock/you get the picture. We can't really give an opinion on the story itself, because we don't know what the hell you wrote or what language you wrote it in... Ms.S. would have your blood/guts/skin/English mark/you get the picture again. Just rewrite your story IN ENGLISH, and remember these tips...
It's spelled SURELY, not SHURLY!
Second, REWRIGHT is not a word in any language in this Universe. It's either rewrite, write, or right, but not a combination of the three.
All the people that are reading your story understand that the Pacific ocean is in fact on Earth. You do not need to tell us that a billion times. I'm sure even the crew members(or Spartans)
understood that too.
(Oh and The Lonesome Grunt, it's a lot, not alot! You could use a dictionary too.)
What happened to the one M.Proulx gave you?
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Elliott2020
2:44 pm | June 17, 2004
Thats my name but if you ever see Tman, thats me.
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Elliott2020
2:08 pm | June 17, 2004
I HOPE U DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Elliott2020
2:00 pm | June 17, 2004
The Lonesome Grunt
2:19 PM | June 17, 2004
O yeah and the thning about me not having a girlfriend and gloating about it is making you sound like a child and plus i dont want 1 right this second cause not every body is as perfect then u are .
Signinng off once again The Lonesome Grunt.
The Lonesome Grunt
2:12 PM | June 17, 2004
The thing is Elliott2020 if you take critcism well you'll make good stories if you dont its only the begining of life and youre gonna go through alot of criticism
So take my advice seriously for once in youre life and use it as youre guide it will help ALOT.
Signing off The lonesome Grunt.
Hey every body look at all this shit, Kyle your a dirty little basturd who could lose friends in a blink of an eye. I'm fine with taking criticism but I've had anuf. I understand how I should write a story, so please Shut Up and consentrate on your own stories...thankyou
ow yah! and saying signing off... The Lonesome Grunt, your just copying MC's cousin.
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The Lonesome Grunt
1:19 pm | June 17, 2004
O yeah and the thning about me not having a girlfriend and gloating about it is making you sound like a child and plus i dont want 1 right this second cause not every body is as perfect then u are .
Signinng off once again The Lonesome Grunt.
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The Lonesome Grunt
1:12 pm | June 17, 2004
The thing is Elliott2020 if you take critcism well you'll make good stories if you dont its only the begining of life and youre gonna go through alot of criticism
So take my advice seriously for once in youre life and use it as youre guide it will help ALOT.
Signing off The lonesome Grunt.
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Elliott2020
12:00 pm | June 17, 2004
As of now, nobody wrights here unless they tell me its a good story. GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!
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Elliott2020
11:56 am | June 17, 2004
i know, it sucks.
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OpeningAct
7:42 am | June 17, 2004
Where should I start? Hmmm! There was no detail, it all happened to fast, crap storyline, no code and create yor own scenarios, instead of starting where first strike left off. Overall, I'd rather eat a month-old furry piece of cat crap instead of reading your story again.
I don't give ratings but if I did I'd give you
-1312343423434234335/10
Sorry if you are discouraged, just start again under a new name and write a new series, but make sure your writing doesn't make me foam at the mouth again with anger! :P
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Elliott2020
10:15 pm | June 16, 2004
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
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The Lonesome Grunt
9:56 pm | June 16, 2004
But people dont you think that the story really didnt make that much sense?
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oli
9:54 pm | June 16, 2004
hey sqarehead first of all im not crying and second of all my peepee brother is going to be back in 15 minutes
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The Lonesome Grunt
9:52 pm | June 16, 2004
is youre brother angry is he upset is poor little Oli Crying =(
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Elliott2020
9:52 pm | June 16, 2004
I need to go bye
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Elliott2020
9:50 pm | June 16, 2004
thank you, if your story SUCKS!, i wont make fun of it.
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The Lonesome Grunt
9:50 pm | June 16, 2004
you silly
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The Lonesome Grunt
9:50 pm | June 16, 2004
fine i'll stop making fun of youre story
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Elliott2020
9:50 pm | June 16, 2004
are you talking to me or my brother (chewawa)
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The Lonesome Grunt
9:48 pm | June 16, 2004
Thank you very much i've been saving that insult for so long. is he crying
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Elliott2020
9:48 pm | June 16, 2004
I know, just stop saying it
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The Lonesome Grunt
9:48 pm | June 16, 2004
Thank you
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The Lonesome Grunt
9:47 pm | June 16, 2004
P.S the story SUCKED
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Elliott2020
9:47 pm | June 16, 2004
Good one Kyle
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The Lonesome Grunt
9:45 pm | June 16, 2004
Olivers a Bug eyed Chewawa Face thing from the Black Lagoon. P.s He sux And blows youre dogs nipples
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oli
9:32 pm | June 16, 2004
heiio sqarehead
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Elliott2020
9:32 pm | June 16, 2004
I hate you, phone me
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Elliott2020
9:30 pm | June 16, 2004
Kyle, Your just getting me back
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The Lonesome Grunt
9:30 pm | June 16, 2004
actually it sucked Balls
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The Lonesome Grunt
9:30 pm | June 16, 2004
HAHA! IT SUCKED AND YOU BLOW! LOL
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Elliott2020
6:36 pm | June 16, 2004
Dear Sean,
I no my story isn't that great but I am not a psycho maniac. The Lonesome Grunt is one of my friends and I was just joking around with him.
And about me saying F.U. to Anon, well read my sorry note to him and you will understand.
The point is, I'm not trying to be a bad person.
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Sean
5:58 pm | June 16, 2004
This story has no personality at all!!! and the Author is well you saw the comments.
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Elliott2020
5:15 pm | June 16, 2004
answer me you dumb dumb
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Elliott2020
5:11 pm | June 16, 2004
sorry kiss kiss kiss kiss.
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Elliott2020
5:09 pm | June 16, 2004
Kick...ha ha ha. you suck. Youve never had a girl friend in your life, I have
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The Lonesome Grunt
5:00 pm | June 16, 2004
Yes i'm very lonely so......
KISS MY ASS!
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The Lonesome Grunt
5:00 pm | June 16, 2004
Yes i'm very lonely so.......
KISS MY ASS!
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Elliott2020
4:48 pm | June 16, 2004
Hello,
is any body there
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Elliott2020
4:44 pm | June 16, 2004
Hey Lonesome Grunt, are you all alone, say...without Jen.
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Lonesome Grunt
12:09 am | June 16, 2004
Quite good
keep working on of e'm.
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Elliott2020
6:59 pm | June 15, 2004
Thanks alot MC's Cousin, I appreciate it
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MC's Cousin
6:18 pm | June 15, 2004
That's what I'm here for, ya know.
for indent...
make sure it looks exactly like this: [indent]
-spell it right
-make sure you use TWO brackets
-you can't use the code in the comments section (just a little piece of...)
Signing Off
MCC
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Elliott2020
6:16 pm | June 15, 2004
indent, for some reason I cant do that
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Solidus Snake
6:09 pm | June 15, 2004
Oh ok, so you know how to indent, and bold, and use italics? Use them in your next story.
Good luck!
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Elliott2020
6:03 pm | June 15, 2004
Thank you Solidus Snake, but I already read it.
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Solidus Snake
5:33 pm | June 15, 2004
*Smacks head* Did you even bother clicking on the hyper link called "Direction for Use" it even said in BIG BOLD PRINT "READ THIS OR ELSE". So I guess I must hold your hand and guied you there:
http://halosn.bungie.org/misc/ffformdirections.html
Copy and paste and read the entire page. There, that should help you in the future.
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Elliott2020
5:15 pm | June 15, 2004
What the hell is the Pseudocode.
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Elliott2020
5:15 pm | June 15, 2004
What the hell is the Pseudocode.
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Solidus Snake
4:46 pm | June 15, 2004
Someone probally alredy said this but this is such a lack of the Pseudocode.
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Elliott2020
4:14 pm | June 15, 2004
ha ha ha ha haa ha haa
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Elliott2020
4:14 pm | June 15, 2004
Ha ha ha!
thats still kind of short
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Helljumper
2:13 pm | June 15, 2004
Sorry, correction
Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (cough) (drinks some water) ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ODST
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Elliott2020
1:53 pm | June 15, 2004
A message to helljumper, if you really hate it that much, you have to say booooooooo! not boo
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Elliott2020
11:45 am | June 15, 2004
Yes I need help, I suck la la di da. I will keep on writing my wierdo stories.
Thank you for the tips MC's cousin.
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Elliott2020
11:45 am | June 15, 2004
To Anon: I'm going to try and write a funny version of the game halo and first strike. Tell me some stuff that could help me before I do.
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Elliott2020
11:42 am | June 15, 2004
Sorry Anon, I didn't really mean it, it's just that I thought my story was great one but I'm not good at writing them.
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Elliott2020
11:42 am | June 15, 2004
Sorry Anon, I didn't really mean it, it's just that I thought my story was great one but I'm not good at writing them.
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The One
3:11 am | June 15, 2004
Interesting, not something I would countinue reading though... sorry. And one more thing, there is something called a paragraph, I suggest you use those more often.
- OT.
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Helljumper
3:05 am | June 15, 2004
Boo
ODST
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SeverianofUrth
1:35 am | June 15, 2004
I have to agree that Master Chief doesn't sound familiar. Actually, if you want to improve your writing, go to www.sfwa.org. there's a section on improving your writing... I actually never read it but my friend swears by it. He gave me a hand-made sign to stick on my monitor.
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MC's Cousin
12:21 am | June 15, 2004
I would suggest making little changes to the overall story. As much as I like a well written comedy, writing the already well written Halo novels over again would not interest some people.
To counter this, you should make some changes so it's not the same old-same old. If you know what I mean.
Signing Off
MCC
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Anon
7:35 pm | June 14, 2004
Yep it was the same person MMC, It didn't load my comment for some reason, so I posted a similar one (I couldn't remember exactly what I wrote). And I'm not that bothered about having a name, else I would have got one.
Elliott2020, I'm entitled to my opinion, whether you like it or not. My criticism wasn't pointless; I told you what was wrong with it, though I doubt that it something you can fix.
And saying "fuck you" makes you look like a retard, considering there is little to suggest otherwise.
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MC's Cousin
4:08 pm | June 14, 2004
I'm inclined to agree with Anonymous (find a name man) and Anon (prob the same person).
Author (whose name I cannot recall), you need to leave this kind of connecting story and stuf to the staff over at Bungie. How MC and crew get on Earth is most likely how Halo 2 will start out.
Writing a story like this would have been acceptable, however, if you would have written it properly, made people sound like their characters, and follow the storyline. Have you not watched the trailers? Oh well.
Leave the main story writing to Eric Nylund...
Signing Off
MCC
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Elliott2020
4:03 pm | June 14, 2004
fuck you Anon, Ilove you poop head.
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poop head
3:59 pm | June 14, 2004
it was a great story. I liked the plot and I can't wait to read the others.
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Anon.
7:48 pm | June 13, 2004
Poorly written; too few paragraphs, unrealistic plot, and Master Chief's character isn't familiar.
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Anonymous
7:48 pm | June 13, 2004
Very poorly written; too few paragraphs, story is unrealistic, doesn't fix in, and Master Chief's character is nothing like the 'official' Master Chief.
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