halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'The Rebel: If you want something done right...'



Dispraiser
2:32 am | October 30, 2003
Two updates... Three...

My PC is back, but I had closed the window that had my huge review for you. Pretty much worthless compared to the other though...

And someone got a ten, so yours was only the lowest ranked for a minute or so...
Dispraiser
12:31 pm | October 28, 2003
My computer's internet is down,but i have a big long comment written up for this one on it that I will post as soon as the internet comes back...

To sum up the upcoming post, and perhaps warn you, this fanfic has gotten the highest flackfic rating so far. Granted it has only been a week, it is still odd to score part 5.

I believe I gave a flackfic of 6 or 7 for the MANY, MANY errors.

I tried a new method in this fanfic, reading through it in one window and having another open to post the comment in so I coudl do it live, but I got about halfway through and found I was making at least a comment a sentance, sometimes more. This is a disturbing trend, being I am hard pressed to find negative comments in many of the fanfics that still earn 3s and 4s.

Don't take this comment too badly, but you seriosly should think about revising your work, or putting forth some effort.

Originality is subpar.
Writing is subpar.
Grammar is subpar.
Action is subpar.
Effort is subpar.
Let me emphasize that last one, EFFORT IS SUBPAR. You called Guilty Spark GS on several occasions...
Dialogue is par...


As I read this I got pissed off, because, as I had come to understand you were a competent writer. Maybe quality has declined in recent fanfics or something.

Don't flame me for telling you the truth, as I see it.
Walker
2:46 am | October 27, 2003
I miss Elfster's crude and stupid comedy... It was my favorite! And the whole "How dare you say he sucks" and then saying "well, you coulda made it bettter" or whatever is a classic example of defending not stories but merely names. It's not the name that makes the story, people. No, this was not a rant aginast either Elfster or Sergeant B, but I figured somebody oughta say it.

Semper Fi

-Walker
Mainevent
3:51 am | October 26, 2003
We should put him up against a firing squad, or two. In case the first one misses.
Elfster
5:00 pm | October 25, 2003
Hahaha. I knew someone would have to thrash him for that sooner or later...
Sergeant B
12:14 pm | October 25, 2003
Damn. I posted the same thing twice. Well, maybe the same but the same meaning.LOL.

P.S.- Did I use LOL right. Laugh out Loud. LoL.
Sergeant B
12:09 pm | October 25, 2003
OH shut your asshole you bastard! If you were the MASTER XBOX, you'd say this is a very good story you jackass. You don't dare say Elfster's stories suck you fuckin retart!!

Elfster, that was a good story. But you could make it a little better maybe. Maybe.
Sergeant B
12:09 pm | October 25, 2003
Oh shut your asshole you son of a bitch! Elfster's stories don't suck at all. You do. His stories are excellent and yours are crap and crud with ass on the toilet!! So you shut your damn mouth and go to hell you bastard. Fuck you!

Elfster. That was a nice story. But you could make it better maybe. Maybe.


P.S.- Raider's Company got 20 members!
MASTER XBOX
9:32 am | October 25, 2003
THAT STORY SUCKED ILL MAKE A BETTER ONE TOMORROW.


bungie.org