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Comments for 'Taking Tritus Part One' |
Dispraiser
2:21 am | December 24, 2002
Yeah, I came here to kick ass and make a fasion statement. I have made my fasion statement...
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saturn
8:35 pm | December 23, 2002
berets are nice too if u dont have time to comb ur hair. that means i can shooot the machine gun all day, sleep, wake up, pop on the beret, and get back to shooting.
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Dispraiser
4:14 am | December 22, 2002
Though I aim (not in this one so much) for the main character to become a normal person, to show the main body of marines are heroic people, by using honor. Making them green berets hopefully helped that...
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Disprasier
4:14 am | December 22, 2002
Well, actually, I don't know how I write so much, but I can write quickly... not like, write a word quick, but write a storyline quick. I also planned a lot of it out because I have to walk a half mile home every day, so I think about it then... But it was all pretty easy really, only a few dead points...
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saturn
7:48 am | December 21, 2002
well true. berets are an honored symbol. they were the best in nam too so i guess so. ya.
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Dirty Commie
3:11 am | December 21, 2002
Gasmask? http://halo.bungie.org/ffsearch.html?author=Gasmask
Apparently he hasn't posted anything since July 6. So technically hes not on HBO right now. HAHA, I'm right in your dominance!.......
Btw, how do you find so much time to write? Sheesh.
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Dispraiser
9:56 pm | December 18, 2002
THe best? thanks, but I think that there are others who desrve that praise. Damn, I can't remember his name, but he wrote one titled "When worlds collide", that is the greatrest author... But yeah, I really skimp on the paragraphs and the only times I really change them enough is in dialogue... Other than that I change them far to little. I don't really know why...
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Dispraiser
9:31 pm | December 18, 2002
Sorry for the double post, read my below one before, but the Green Beret are in ghost recon too, youi are them in that game... But picture a tricked out marine... But Saturn, you read my other one, right? Well go and post in its comments where you thought it was full of tension, so I can emulate it here see? btw, I am sending the next seven pages to louis soon, I have them done but now have to check over them...
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Dirty Commie
9:22 pm | December 18, 2002
Yes, me also like tv intro. But, I don't know if the formatting got messed up or something, but you definitely don't make enough new paragraphs, it helps a lot, especially when you're reading it on a computer screen.
BUT, you are still, in my opinion, the BEST author on HBO right now.
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Dispraiser
8:55 pm | December 18, 2002
Negetive comment are much more appreciated author side than positive ones actually. But Green Berets are the equal to the SEALs teams of the Navy, and I figured that they wouldn't send some greenhorns on this mission as it will later unmask. So beret is more of a title than anything else. Picture normal marines. btw, the green beret are actually second to the maroon beret, however I like the color green better, so I decided to stick with this. But yeah, I will try to stick suspense in a little later. Thanks for the first good (told me something to fix) comment.
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saturn
1:48 am | December 18, 2002
nice into with the tv, lacking a little suspense though. please tell me they dont wear berets into battle. hats are a sad fashion statement, even on shore leave. they dont do didly squat in battle and u still get sunburned.
im happy to see that u plan to continue your series.
Note: if my comments seem negative, im only pointing out things that i would change. but everything else is good although i dont always mention that it is.
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Dispraiser
7:52 pm | December 17, 2002
Yes, it is more on the mystery side. But this one is goung to end with a semi predictable ending, though you will be surprised at what it is. It is not a Covenant that they are fighting, so no grunts... But Part two should be posted around christmas time. But if you liked this, go read my other one, it should tide you over (though I don't like the other as mch as this.) It is completed though!
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no need know
8:44 pm | December 16, 2002
good...is it supposed to be sort of a horror/suspense type thing?
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freeon
8:28 pm | December 16, 2002
really good, but just what was that grunt thing?
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