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Comments for 'Deliberation' |
Walker
11:54 am | October 16, 2003
Wha? It's the symbol for trailing off at the end of the sentence.
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Mainevent
8:27 pm | October 15, 2003
We might like "..." if I knew wtf "...." meant....
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Walker
8:18 pm | October 15, 2003
Yeah... we like "..." don't we? ...
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Neal Stack
11:22 am | October 15, 2003
now come on Blah Blah Blah thats a bad way to look at this fanfic. besides some stories go deeper than characters with guns.
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xitWOUND117
11:17 am | October 15, 2003
yikes. interesting. you are a really awesome writer.
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Mainevent
10:48 am | October 15, 2003
But you gotta admit, it's pretty cool.....
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Walker
1:28 am | October 15, 2003
That's phucked up, man...
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Mainevent
12:48 am | October 15, 2003
I was joking. But has anyone tried to do a story from a dead person's perspective? Eh, eh? Think about it. It could be like.....
"I watched them as they trampled my body, I finally knew what it was like to be dead. Three more of my comrades were about to find out as a plasma mortar slammed into the ground on top of them. I watched the battle from high atop the hellish wargrounds, amazed and apalled at the view. It was both stunning and surreal. To watch the carnage unparalleled. I could move, that much was sure. I made my ghastly slide over to a nearby marine in trouble. I tried so desperately, yelling, screaming, tearing at these infernal bonds that death has placed on me, but alas, nothing. I slammed my figure into him! I saw nothing but darkness, then I felt the dirt under my fingernails. I realised my eyes were closed, squinting tightly. I WAS INSIDE HIS BODY!!!..."
ETC.
-ME
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Dispraiser
6:21 pm | October 14, 2003
I don't see how I could feasilby continue the story with a dead first person persective.
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Blah Blah Blah
10:35 am | October 14, 2003
All I get is my characters are this, my characters are that.....just kill em all and make some new ones and you don't have to worry about what they were thinking.
-ME
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Walker
7:50 pm | October 13, 2003
A good oops, man.
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Dispraiser
7:05 pm | October 13, 2003
Ah, this fanfic was just to get something out of my system. My first fanfic was very simpleminded, almost as if my characters completely ignored death. I reread it just a little while ago and found it to be gramaticly outmatched by recent ones, but also bearing an odd charm that my recent fanfics didn't have. I concluded that the reason lie within my characters fear of death, and obsession with it, so I was hoping this would clear it out of my system. I think i deviated from my main point though. Originally I had planned to write a fanfic about him fearing death, and realizing the burden he had bestwon upon the others that he had slaughtered. Somehow I ended up basicly waying "We were Soldiers."
Oops.
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Walker
12:52 pm | October 13, 2003
I agree with FOrunnER. 10/10. How could it be anything less? The only mistake I found was when you called the plasma your character was shot with a bullet. Other than that, how can you call the Covenant Cause just? But 10/10 nevertheless. Keep 'em coming, I liked this one.
Semper Fi
-Walker
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Dispraiser
2:38 am | October 13, 2003
On the contrary, this was meant to make you think about the bigger things about the lack of life.
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Sorry for the double post, computer on the fritz
2:09 am | October 13, 2003
FOrunnER
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FOrunnER
2:00 am | October 13, 2003
Hmmm, interesting approach to a story. I like it, but the lack of action was its only flaw. But then again, I can tell it was more the type of story designed to make ya think about the bigger things in life (whatever that means)
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FOrunnER
2:00 am | October 13, 2003
Hmmm, interesting approach to a story. I like it, but the lack of action was its only flaw. But then again, I can tell it was more the type of story designed to make ya think about the bigger things in life (whatever that means)
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