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Comments for 'Trapped Part Two : The Two Plans' |
Black Titan
10:17 pm | June 18, 2004
IT WAS VERy VERY WEAK SON. I AM BEING POLITE
3/10 is your score bih
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Ross Becalick
7:33 am | April 22, 2004
Yeah, your grammer hindered it.
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Snake Solid 117
12:36 pm | April 21, 2004
I didn't like it too much either. You lacked detail, and the grammar as well. I was also a little confused about the story, was it talking about humnas or covenant together, because that is what it sounded like to me. Try not trush your stories, if you did.
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Helljumper
3:18 am | April 21, 2004
I think it blew. The opening alone contained numerous errors in grammer and sentence structure. Then when i tried to read the text it was confusing. You jumped around too much and then you have a Corporal as a pilot, what kinda crap is that. Totally unexceptable. When will these noobies learn.
Ok listen, if your gonna write, try and stick with one character to begin with. then after you write your story go back and proofread it, cause there were a lot of mistakes. Lets not forget details , they are so important, they make the story real.
ODST
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fortune
12:57 am | April 21, 2004
It was a little freaky, I couldn't tell if there was a alien in the story. Also there wasen't enough action but it was better than your first story.
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