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Comments for 'Master Chief and Master Rookie - Prologue' |
Jessica
12:02 pm | July 22, 2004
Umm...No....Not exactly a comedy...not exactly good...Okay, it sucked...
Jess
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343 Salty Beans
6:21 am | July 22, 2004
I understand that this is supposed to be a comedy...so....
a) Make it more...comic. Make it funny.
b) Usually, comedies are single episodes....rarely series. Still, it's nice to try something new.
c) The other guys don't understand that it's supposed to be a comedy, LET ALONE a prologue...take Halo: Cataclysm for instance (not that many people have read it). It left huge cliffhangers in the prologue, and you didn't hear these guys complain.
343SB
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Slayer Boi
5:36 am | July 22, 2004
can someone shoot me? make the torture end.
i stopped reading it halfway though. i remember sum1 saying once... i would rather shower in liquified dog shit than read this which you call a story. i am sry, but it needs more detail, and, a half decent story line.
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Anonymous
2:56 am | July 22, 2004
Make sure that you are consistent in your tenses throughout. For instance, you switched to the present tense from the imperfect tense, and it made for a really strange reading experience.
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Dinker
7:26 pm | July 21, 2004
Master Rookie has to go. There is only one Master I follow: Master Chief.
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Dave Luck
6:25 pm | July 21, 2004
The setting of the story needs work. Don't write in infinite tense. Write in past tense.
- Dave.
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HoZ
6:21 pm | July 21, 2004
That was gay
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thedarkfire
4:30 pm | July 21, 2004
code:ok
story:licks...i stopped about 1/8 through it
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russ687
3:27 pm | July 21, 2004
No.
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