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Comments for 'The Lost Platton' |
Ajax
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
It'd might be a good idea to make sure your title is spelled right.
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CoLd BlooDed
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
I read a little and stopped. I've never seen so many spelling errors in one story. I thought that the title was normal... but I'm sick and a little more than slow today. Then I laughed.
Please spellcheck (or just look over) your work, it's really not that hard. This just makes you look careless.
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Helljumper
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
I don't get it.
ODST
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Severian
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
I won't add to your misery by saying that this story was a steaming mess of errors.
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hunter_that_dances
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
use microsoft word and type it-it corrects mistakes. when done, just copy and pasteonto the form. and remenber to italictize
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yeti
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
i read as far as the ttle, then came here to insult you.
thats how bad your story/brain/thoughtfulness is...
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343 Salty Beans
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Please refer to the previous commentators...I'm far too lazy to type that much.
343SB
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Bleed Out
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Holy crap man, I didnt relize all the errors in this one, Damn I must've been tired last night, well if ya'll are willing to read on I promise no more Errors
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Chuckles
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
You seem to have a good enough idea for a story here, but (spelling errors aside) need to smooth out your sentences. It might even help to read an author you like before you write to help you with your pacing.
You worked too hard on this to drop it in here in the shape you did. Spellcheck it, smooth it out, and don't give the critics as much to chew on.
C.T. Clown
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Nick Kang
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Wow, that's a lot of errors.
NK
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Jessica
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Boy, was that bad...even the TITLE is spelt wrong...maybe you should send you story to somebody before you submit it...or maybe used Microsoft Word? It seems to help quite a lot...
I wouldn't mind reading another one, if you cleaned up your grammar and smooth out your sentences...
Jess
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Mastergrunt
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Nobody could survive the destruction when Halo detonated. The only ones who could or would even have a chance is Guilty Spark and the Flood.
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Mastergrunt
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Nobody could survive the destruction when Halo detonated. The only ones who could or would even have a chance is Guilty Spark and the Flood.
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Mastergrunt
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Sorry for double post.
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Jessica
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
I doubt the Flood would have survived...even if they did, they would have been starved to death, as everything in a __ Mile Radius would have been wiped out...And btw, i THINK Guilty Spark 343 DID Survive...
Jess
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Bleed Out
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Well thank you for teraing the hell outta my story and dont worry about seeing anymore of it cept chapter one
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System Failure
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
The flood won't starve to death. Look how old halo is (200,000+ years?). And the flood have been there the whole time with no food. Mabye the radition from the PoA's reactors messed up their little hibernating cylce, but who knows?
-System-
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Sean
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Good idea but just work on it harder.
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Guardian
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
wait so confused, first of all, what the hell just happened, are the marines infected or something because its kinda riddled. Second of all I don't get it either.
And finally, nothing on that ringworld can survive the destruction of the POA's WildCat Chain-reaction of the ship's fusion reactors. Not even the flood can survive a shockwave caused by a fusion detonation of pure energy or a massive fireball that measures to an amount of a few million degrees. The flood die when you shoot them with an assualt rifle, and the bullets from the barrel are like hot, from the explosive force, but not that hot.
Anyways, its good, but as you know by the Time, according to your story when the MC arrived on Earth, there is already an invasion force of Covenant cruisers, frigates, and carriers...enough bad criticism, work on the spelling and grammar your ideas are good, all they need is a path.
8/10
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee....that was good Fourth of July.
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Dave Luck
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Grammar... Grammar....
For the first time in a long while, I think that people are actually beginning to read the guidelines... Or the n00bs are finally getting frustrated with those flames and going on holiday.
Either way, I still think that Grammar is a major factor. Some parts were confusing due to grammatical errors.
I've been reading up on some published work (Hades Factor, Robert Ludlum; The Hunt For Red October, Tom Clancy; The Kremlin, Tom Clancy; Patriot Games, Tom Clancy...) And I've finally gotten back to my normal, grammar-snobbish self. And I'm not ashamed to admit it.
- Dave
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