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A Whacky Spartan (Parts 1-2)
Posted By: Daniel Jackson<danjack13@hotmail.com>
Date: 16 July 2002, 10:06 pm
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Part 1: Will's Problems
January 22, 3002 Military Calendar
Precision MCAS NHI, Epsilon Eridani System
*** Daniel-047 Will-013 James-510 Jake-048 Steven-209 Brittany-672 Sergeant Ryan Miller
It's a normal day in the world... so far. But one little thing has broken the peace at the SPARTAN III Bunker 8 at Precision MCAS on New Hawaii, Epsilon Eridani System
Daniel: Will!!!!!!!!
Will: Oh shit, he found out....
Daniel: WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!
Brittany: You mean, it wasn't you on the COM channel?
Daniel: Of course not! I hate your guts! I want to kill you!
Brittany: I love you too, Daniel...
Brittany moves in to give the "Perfect Soldier" a kiss.
Daniel: If you do, I'll---
Three minutes later...
Will: Look at the happy little couple!
Daniel moves away from Brittany, takes out his M6D, and points it at Will's head.
Will: Crap!!
Daniel: You have 20 milliseconds to run...
Will: Bye!
With that, Will runs like a Grunt out of detention. About an hour later, Daniel is still looking for Will, in hopes of killing him.
Daniel: Will, I know you're hiding...come out, so I can give you this nice little cartridge of bullets...
Will: I want 20 nice little cartidges of bullets! .390!
Daniel: *turns around* There you are!!
Daniel shoots one bullet at some crates where he heard the voice come from. Will runs out of the hiding place. After another hour of running, Daniel decides to kill Will while he's asleep because he just can't find the man anywhere at the moment. Daniel closes the hangar door where the Longsword Interceptors are held, and goes to his quarters. Inside the hangar, we see Will in Daniel's modified Longsword.
Will: I lost Daniel... he actually thought he could find and kill me! I'm glad I did that impersonation of him on the radio while talking to Brittany! How Did Will Pass Training?
Part 2 - The Next Morning
January 23, 3002 Military Calendar
Epsilon Eridani System
*** The next morning, Will climbed out of his hiding place for the night, Daniel 's own Longsword Interceptor. His stomach growled loudly, and he decided that it was time to risk his life to eat something for breakfast.
Will: Wait until I find Daniel, he'll only be alive for a mere millisecond. Then, finally, Brittany will be MINE! He walked into the Mess Hall, where he saw the "Perfect Soldier" eating his MRE Cheerios. The 23 year old Will smirked, remembering the conversation he had with "Shay" last night.
"Shay": Remember, your mission is to kill Daniel-047 so Brittany-672 can be yours, just as she was meant to be!
Will: *in a hypnotic state* Yes, Shay.
Will walks up to the table, taking a seat directly across from Daniel, who was busily eating his fourth pack of Cheerios. Daniel finally looked up to see Will with his "Smirk" on his face.
Daniel: Will, if you're trying to impersonate me, you're doing a very crappy job of it.
Will: *talking like a mindless drone* I'm not trying to impersonate you, Daniel. I want to kill you...
Daniel: Hehe...that's good, Will! You can stop now! Jesus, that was a good one... Um, Will...aren't you supposed to be bouncing-off-the-walls hyper or something?
Will: Why?
Daniel: *looks at his watch* Nope, today's not April Fool's...I know! You're playing a trick on me! Ok, it was pretty damn funny at first, but it's getting a little lame.
Will: You think I'm kidding? *whips out a gun*
Daniel: *smirks* Great impersonation, Will, but I'm not Brittany...
Will: Now you die, Daniel...
And with that statement, Will fires the gun, the bullet hitting Daniel's left arm. Brittany, who was running around the track behind the building, heard the gunshots and ran in to check on Daniel. When she got into the hall, she saw Jake, James, and Steven standing around someone. Thinking it was Will who had been shot, she went to the ground, only to be surprised...
Brittany: Will, are you--DANIEL! Are you ok?
Steven: Does Daniel LOOK like he's "ok" to you? He just got shot in the arm by Belchik over there!
Daniel: *sits up, but grimaces in pain* Why the hell did you do THAT for?
Will: I told you, I'm going to kill you...and I don't want your sister, then I'll have your girlfriend all to myself...
Daniel: Will, I told you already! I CAN'T STAND Brittany! You want her? FINE! Take her!
But in the mind of our 47 System possessed Will,(Daniel studied computer programming and came up with an aid to the MJOLNIR targeting system) he hears something completely different from the Afro-Americo SPARTAN III II...
"Daniel": Hell no! You can NEVER have Brittany! She's mine...FOREVER!
Will starts growling, and raises the pistol to shoot Daniel again, this time in the chest. He starts to pull the trigger, when Brittany jumps in front of Daniel, shielding him from whatever bullets Will may have wanted to fire.
Brittany: Leave Daniel alone! I thought you two were teammates!
But of course, in the messed up mind of Will Belchik, he doesn't *exactly* hear those words from his "beloved"...
"Brittany": Will! Spare Daniel! You know I'm eternally devoted to you, and ONLY you! I love you!
Will: *lowering the gun* Alright, my love! I'll spare Jackson's life...just this one time! Daniel, if I *ever* catch you near MY woman, I won't hesitate to blow you to hell! Got that?
Daniel: Huh? Whatever! I thought that relationships were discouraged by the UNSC anyway...
Damn that 47 System, it's making Will think Daniel replied in a not-so-nice manner...
"Daniel": F*ck you, Will! When the UNSC finds about this, you will be CM'ed.
Will growls, raises the gun again, but drops it once more and walks out of the mess hall. He heads up to his quarters, with his stomach still growling. After Will disappears, Brittany takes Daniel to the closest medic. While Will was laying down on his cot, his best friend, "Shay", appears once more...
"Shay": What the hell? Will, I thought you wanted to get Brittany! You let Jackson live, but why?
Will: Well, Shay...I was about to kill Daniel and get rid of him once and for all, but then Brittany jumped in front of me! I didn't want to accidentally hurt or kill my love! Besides, the other men were there too...
"Shay": Other men? You mean, Daniel's teammates?
Will: Yeah, but they're mine too!
"Shay": How can you be so sure that they aren't after your Brittany as well?
Will: ? What do you mean?
"Shay": Think about it, Will. How do they treat you?
Will: Hmm...James and Jake are pretty helpful to me, but that Steven acts like he's got a plasma grenade shoved far up his ass!
"Shay": Why don't you get rid of that Steven guy, as well as Daniel?
Will: I have no reason to...
Right then, James, Jake, and Steven enter Will's quarters. They decide that now would be the perfect time to have a little inquisition with the Petty Officer First Class himself...
Steven: Alright, Belchik, I have to admit, you've done some pretty stupid things over the past seventeen years, but shooting Jackson has to be the STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE!
Jake: I have to agree with Steven on this one, it's true...
James: Yeah...but I have one question...why?
In Will's messed up mind, however...
"Steven": Alright, Belchik, I have to say one thing: Brittany's MINE!
"Jake": Actually, Steven, she's MINE!
"James": NO, she's MINE!
"Shay": *inside Will's head* See, Will? I told you they were against you...
Will: NO! You CAN'T HAVE BRITTANY! SHE BELONGS TO ME!! SHE'S ALL MINE! MINE! MINE I TELL YOU! 10-4 on that?!
The other three SPARTAN IIIS decide to leave Will alone for a while. They go downstairs into the living area to have a little...discussion about Will and his state of mind at the moment.
Steven: What the hell is Belchik's problem? Did you guys give him some more marijuana?
James: As far as I know, nope.
Jake: Why in Forerunner's existence would I give Will ANYTHING?
Steven: *looking at Jake* ... Good question...
At that moment, Daniel returns from the First Aid Station, without Brittany. His left arm is completely patched with BioFoam, due to the explosive round, and he managed to hear the last bit of the conversation.
Daniel: Did you guys even notice Will's eyes?
James: Now that I think about it, his eyes were a little darker than normal...
Jake: You don't think he...
Steven: *eyes widen as he realizes what must have happened* BELCHIK WAS EXPOSED TO THE 47 SYSTEM?
Jake: *rubbing his ear* A little louder, Steven, I can still hear from my right ear...
Steven: Humph...I don't need to take this! *goes to his room to practice ECM*
Daniel: *ignoring Steven's comment* Will's been exposed to the 47 System, but when? There weren't any drops we had to...oh crap...
Jake and James: ???
Daniel: He must have went into my Longsword last night, when I was chasing him for that impersonation he did of me on the COM! Damn him!
James: Yeah, but...I was exposed to the 47 System, twice, and it didn't make me THAT crazy!
Jake: James, this is Will we're conversing about...anything's possible with THAT man...
James: Good point...what are you going to do, Daniel?
Daniel: I'm going to wear my MJOLNIR III 24/7, that's what I'M going to do! *walks off*
James: What about us?
Daniel: You guys figure out something...
James and Jake: .... *sigh*
Meanwhile, in Will's quarters...
Will: *overhearing the conversation* Holy Covenant Droppings! They think they can stop ME? HA! They have no idea how wrong they are! And I, The Great Sniper, will show them that! And I will claim Brittany Sierra as MINE!
"Shay": *smirking evily* That's right, Will...get your revenge and claim Brittany as yours...I will help you...
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