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A Weird Series of Events (A Parallel Universe) Part 1
Posted By: Elfster<briane@teleport.com>
Date: 10 September 2003, 4:34 PM
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This, because of a little friendly "arguement" between me and HK, is my version of A Weird Series of Events, Part 4.
To give it a storyline, I'll say some sort of time machine thingy sent them back in time =P =)
____________________________________________________________
All of the sudden, a rift in time (Whatever that means) sent the group back in time, to the moment when a combat form had his sights on Hunter_Killer in The Maw....
Then a golden beam of energy made contact with the combat form's arm, severing it as it pulled the trigger, causing it to shoot me in the foot, and then I saw S7N and Blackvalyire come running up.
"Where'd you come from!?" I yelled.
"We were playing co-op on the Maw when we got sucked in." said S7N.
"Yeah well you made me get shot in the foot you bastard!" I said as I shot him in the foot, too.
"OW! DAMMIT!"
Black Valkyire started roaring in laughter.
S7N turned and prompty shot him in the foot, too.
"OOOWWWWW! YOU DICKHEAD!"
We all started laughing, and then Elfster shot himself in the foot.
Everyone was quiet... The only sound was the chirping of crickets.
"Dude.... You suck...." said GLADIATRRR3000
Elfster had no response except to shoot GLAD in the foot.
"Oh you backstabbing cockbite!" Everyone started laughing again.
"Guys! We gotta get to the bridge!!!" Yelled Hawk.
Everyone was quite again, and then everyone turned and shot him in the foot at the same time.
*Camera zooms out into a picture of Halo from space*
Faint scream: "Ahhhhhhhhh!"
____________________________________________________________
"Ow.... Mommy..."
"FOR THE LAST TIME..... IAMNOTYOURMOMMY!!!!!!" Yelled Vege7a as the group entered the bridge.
We approached the holo projector.
"Ok, Who wants to do the honors?" I asked.
"I do! I DO!" Screamed Hawk.
".... Anyone BESIDES Hawk..."
"Fine, you guys can do this on your own, and don't come crying to me when you need my help." he said coldly as he stalked off.
"Don't count on it." I called after him.
"Ok... Who wants to do it?"
"Uh... I'll do it, I guess." S7N said as he stepped up to the holo-projector.
He popped the cube out of his helmet and inserted it into the holo-projector and the image that popped up was Cortana....
Doing a hootchie dance?
"What the-"
(screeching record sound)
I looked over and one of the Cananamators was sitting at a console eating a sandwhich and watching a hockey game.
GLADIATRRR3000 raised an eyebrow, Nosolee rolled his eyes, BlackValkyire smacked himself on the forehead, Walker and S7N had a look of pure horror on their faces, Vege7a fainted, and Elfster didn't even notice, and was just staring and drolling at Cortana, and Alpha lance was expressionless.
Wiley raised his minigun.
And then all of the sudden, Cortana spoke:
"Hey, what the hell are you lookin' at, pervert?
"Hey, Wiley," Elfster started "can you hand me that minigun?"
"RUUNN!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIFE THEY'RE COMING! RUUUN!!!" Screamed Hawk as he came running in.
Elfster and I looked at eachother at the same time, then looked back.
"Well look who it is..." GLADIATRRR3000 stepped forward.
"What are you babbling about?" Alpha Lance asked sarcastically.
"THE EVIL NINJA GAIDEN OKATU CRAZED CORTANA FANBOYS ARE ATTACKING!!!!"
"Uh huh, sure they are du-"
"LISTEN!!" He yelled.
And sure enough, there were crazy screams filling my ears.
"Now what did I tell you about tracking evil ninja gaiden okatu crazed cortana fanboys into the house!!" scolded the familiar voice of Agent Shade. "Let's just let them come, mutilate his Canadian ass and LEAVE."
"Hey... How did you get in here?"
He thought for a second...
"Good question."
The fanboys came charging in at that moment with Ishkabbibl at the lead of them.
GLADIATRRR3000, Vege7a and I all perched behind the console the holo-projector was siting on, broke the glass out and began sniping, while Alpha Lance stayed back and chucked plasma grenades like mad. Nosolee and Elfster used their |337 pistol skills together and really kicked some ass, and everyone else charged forward... except for Hawk.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA! I DONT WANNA DIE! WHAAAAA!" He cried and ran around in circles. While he was running he slipped in a puddle of blood and went sailing away down the hallway sliding on his back knocking down all the fanboys like bowling pins.
"We could put him to use alot more often....." Elfster slowly noted out loud as he missed and hit a fanboy in the shoulder.
"I noticed..." Replied Nosolee.
Agent Shade went running down the hallway charging at all the knocked out or knocked down fanboys, using a bunch of matrix-style moves.
"Dude... Why's he going so slow?" Qestioned GLAD. Nobody responded. "Oh, and Wiley, where the hell did you get a minigun in Halo?"
"Oh, well actually I was switching disks between Brute Force and Halo when I got sucked in."
"No Fair!"
Within a few minutes all the fanboys were dead and Hawk was at the end of the hallway on his head with his legs bent over his shoulders.
"Eww.... Man.... He seriously needs Yoga classes." I noted as I surveyed the carnage with my sniper rifle.
And then... Ishkabbibl came...
He was bleeding all over and could barely stand up, he coughed up blood all over the floor.
Elfster gasped. "He's fallen... to the PS2 side..."
"Hey dude evil or not we need to get him help, he's still one of us!" Insisted Wiley.
"I... I ain't got time to bleed..." Ish croaked.
"Oh you line-stealing fucktard!!!" Wiley yelled as the BRRRAAPAPAPAP of his minigun was heard.
____________________________________________________________
Engineering"Wheeee!" yelled Hawk as he hit a grenade with a flood's broken off arm into the vent.
"Told you we could use him more often."
Wiley sulked over to the rest of the group.
"I wanted to throw the grenades!"
"Hey... But you're the one that gets to do the Jesse Ventura inpression!"
"Oh yeah! Yay!" 5 Minutes LaterThe locked door leading to the elevator blows apart.
"AHHHH!" Screamed Hawk as he turned around and ran the other way. "IM TOO YOUNG AND GOOD LOOKING TO DIE!....Well... Young atleas-"
BOOM!
All of the sudden, a voice of out nowhere said:
"You killed Hawk you team-killing fucktard!"
Everyone piled on the elevator.
"Ok, is everybody here?" I asked.
I counted up everyone and then the elevator began to move.
Then a voice inside of everyone's head said something:
"Ahh, I knew you would be trying to escape right about now,"
"This sounds strangely familiar." whimpered S7N.
"Well, just to let you know that your precious webmaster is now mine, and trust me, he will be put to good use. As for your team mate, Hawk7886, I thought I could put him to good use, So he is now blocking the hole in the right ventral engine of my ship," continued the voice.
"Oh, and one last thing. if you see Elfster, tell him I'll be seeing him shortly."
"Dude you must have alot of freakin holes in your ship..."
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