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Its Just One of Those Days: 04
Posted By: Elfster<briane@teleport.com>
Date: 10 August 2003, 2:25 AM
Read/Post Comments
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Note: The Prologue series isnt dead... its resting... And for this episode we have Halo bloopers for the first level!
POA, on the bridge:
Keyes: The object we found, I'm gonna try and land the Autumn on it.
Cortana: With all due respect sir, you really should stop smoking that stuff.
-CUT-
POA, Cryo B:
Crewman: Ok, sir, go ahead and climb out of the cryo tube.
MC: How?
Crewman: Press X, sir.
MC: what? X? I don't see any X button...
Crewman: On the controller, sir.
MC: What the heck are you talkin about?
-On the cheif's HUD-
Press X to climb out of the cryo tube
MC: Oh now don't you start with me, mister...
-CUT-
POA, Cryo B observation deck:
*BANG, BANG, BANG*
Crewman: AHhh! Their tryin to get through the door! Security to Cryo 2!
*BWOOSH*
Red Elite: Hey man! I gotta go BAD! Can I use your bathroom?
Crewman: Oh yeah, sure, down that hall, first door on the left.
Red Elite Thanx man!
*Elite gets back*
Red Elite: Ok, I'm done... *Walks over to the door he broke through and turns around and shoots the crewman*
*Security comes in*
One marine: *eating a sandwhich* Ahh man, that was a good sandwhich *Looks at the elite* Want one?
-CUT-
POA, Hallway to Cryo B:
-on the cheif's HUD-
Press A to jump over obstacles
MC: Hey! What did I tell you about that?!
-CUT-
POA, Hallway:
MC: *running after jumping over the pipes*
Wall: *BOOM, explodes*
MC: AHHHHHHHHH! *turns around and runs the other way* IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!
-CUT-
POA, doorway:
MC: *walks up to door*
Elite: *Right through the door* GAAAAAAHHH!... Don't scare me like that!
-CUT-
POA, doorway to cafeteria:
Marine: Sir! The captain needs you on the bridge ASAP, better follow me!
MC: *Faints* Not..... again.......
-CUT-
POA, Bridge:
MC: Friends don't let friends pilot stoned...
-CUT-
POA, leaving bridge:
Grunt #1: Ahh shit man, isn't this where we get our heads blown off? *head gets blown off from pistol bullet*
Grunt #2: Guess so... but think about it... Seeveenntyy ttwwoo viiirgiinssss... *head gets blown off*
Grunt #3: Waitasec... Ahh shit... come to think of it... I think he said seventy two VIRGINIANS. AHHHHHHH! *Bang*
-CUT-
POA, near airlock:
Marine #3: What the hell? What smells so bad?
Marine #2: OH SHIT! MOVE IT! BACK TO THE GAS LOCK!
-CUT-
POA, last lifeboat:
Marine: *gets blown down from explosion* Uhh... Line!
Now... that wraps it up for POA bloopers... on to POA PROFILES! YAY!
Captain Keyes.
Age:
Cortana: "I can't even BEGIN to calculate."
Parents: Drug addict hobos.
Hobbies: Piloting battlecruisers while smoking dope, having affairs with other men, pestering Cortana, and wearing tights.
Other interesting facts: Gay, and has a crush on MC.
Cortana:
Smart: Yes
Based on: Dr.Hasley's brain
Hobbies: Writing strange letters to Hamish Sinclar while getting drunk, flirting with MC, and randomly changing colors.
Other interesting facts: Get's very frightened and protective of MC when around other AI constructs, has a total crush on MC. Does not play nice with other AIs and likes to steal pretty green sticks that blow up the universe.
Crewman/Marine:
Age: horny teenager
Parents: Quite a few
Hobbies: Blowing up aliens, screaming at the top of their lungs randomly, dying hair often (crewman only), and masterbating furiously like chimps on speed.
and finally... even tho not in POA.
Elfster:
Age: (Same as crewman/Marine)
Hobbies: Playing Halo, staring at the HBO home page for hours on end while rapidly clicking the refresh button, being a run of the mill HBO forum goon, die-hard Bungie and HBO fan, staring at Cortana's boobs... Umm... staring at Cortana's boobs some more... oh ya and writing fan fiction so amazing you'll be like: Whoa, that was amazing!
And since this is too short to submit, I'm going to add a bit to it:
...
...
POA, Bridge:
Keyes: Get Cortana off this ship, keep her safe from the enemy. If they capture her, they'll learn EVETYTHING! Force deployment, weapons research....
My doll collection.
-CUT-
Joe Staten: WHY THE HELL CANT YOU NERDS GET IT RIGHT!? ITS EARTH! EARTH YOU DOPE SMOKING HOBO!
Marty: Caaalm down... caaalm down... try hugging them, not choking them...
Look for another Its Just One of Those Days episodes, coming to a browser near you!
Ok, if it says i have to have 750 words ONE MORE TIME... I'LL strangle it! Thats right, strangle it SOO HARD it'd... uhh... wish it wasnt being strangled... yeah...
ALL FEAR THE MIGHTY ELF PERSON DUDE THING!
oh and while you're at it get me a root beer.
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