halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


The Silent Cartographer: Part One
Posted By: Anonymous Guy<splintercellfusion@msn.com>
Date: 13 April 2003, 1:59 AM


Read/Post Comments

The alarm blared to life and Master Chief slammed from his sleeping position and hit his head on the upper rail. "Ow god damnit! Stupid ass developers! They just have to put a damn rail over my freakin' bed!" "Shut your ass up!", screamed Cortana, "You'll get our asses fried for capping on the developers of the POA!" "Oh really my bad! So what's on the agenda today Corty old girl?" "I swear to god.. You call me that again... And i'll kick your ass..." "Ahh screw you. So any way, what's on the agenda Corty?" "Okay. Today we must find the Silent Cartographer." "Awww I don't like that place! I wanna go see the Truth and Reconciliation!" "Hell no! Last time me and you went their you took the damn ship for a joyride, crapped all over the floors, pissed your name on the walls, and even posed nude in the bridge area!" "Fine then Corty. I hate you... You're no fun..." "Ahh shut up."

NOW TO THE SILENT CARTYOGRAPHER!



"Wow! Lookie at there Cortana! Island! Beach! Sun! Ba-"
"Shut up we're on a mission for the Silent Cartographer!" "Fine." Master Chief looked around the drop ship and spotted the Marine directly in front of him. "I love what you did to your skin! Fabulous!" "Uh Foehammer! Can I move a seat over away from Master Chief?", asked the marine nervously. "Naw just sit their! We'll hit dirt in five!", Foehammer screamed. "Alright!" answered the Marine. "So uh Chief. I uh see you got a new MA5B rifle. Uh it's uh nice..." "Can I run my fingers through your hair?", asked the Master Chief happily. "God no!" The tormented Marine sat in terror as the three other leathernecks looked at him and brought their rifles up shielding their smiling faces and laughter. Foehammer came onto the Comchannel and told the leathers 3 to dirt and for Pvt. Jenkins to cooperate with Master Chief's requests. "Fine...", answered Jekins blankly. He took off his helmet and revealed his crew cut of brown hair. "OHHHHHH! Brown me just like!" Master Chief then poked at the crew cut and then started to pet it. Wallace, the squad commander pissed his pants from laughing so hard. And as Jenkins let MC pet his head, he injectedhimself with over 7 medical stems to ease his humiliation.

ON THE BEACH


"The LZ is hot, real hot!", called FoeHammer, "Hit em' boys!" The four UNSC soldiers jumped from the troop hold area and made his way to the central Covenant assault group. Echo 314 finally unleashed her troops. The 8 Marines ran toward the assault group with guns blazing. Master Chief settled into a Grunt with a three round burst of his assault rifle. He then spun around and spent the rest of his clip on an Elite. Jenkins tossed a frag into the Jackal defensive square while Wallace mopped up the remaining few that survived the blast. MC slapped a fresh clip into his assault rifle and equipped his M6D pistol. With the 2X scope he picked off several of the Grunts that initiated blind fire at the 8 Marines. "Area secure!", said Lieutenant Hikowa into her mike. Just then Foe sailed overhead. "Did somebody ask for a Warthog?", she asked. "Hey I didn't know you made house calls Foehammer!", a Marine cried happily. "You know our motto, we deliver." She dropped off the Warthog and flew off. One Marine manned the gun while another propped himself in the driver seat. MC jumped into the driver seat and drove off.


Wilcox, who was the passenger of the Wart' turned around to look at Master Chief as he sang along to some Beach Boys song. "Hey uh Master Chief? Could you possibly change the station or put in a different Cd or something?" "Yeah sure. Anything for a man, hee hee." Donland the gunner nearly vomited as The Best or Bread jammed to life. "Oh hell no Master Chief! Turn that shit off! I maybe be a human, but I can kick your ass for sure!" "You dirty motherfu--", MC jumped from the driver side to beat up Donland. "Watch the damn wheel Chief!" The Warthog spun out of control and slammed in to a rock stuck in the sand. "Ahh shit." Wilcox jumped out and examined the totaled front. "Great job Master Dumbshit!" You totled the Warth' and now we need another spark plug! I oughta---!"



NEXT TO COME:


GETTING A SPARK PLUG FROM A HUNTER





bungie.org