UNSC screwballs- chapter one
Posted By: Codyman<Danishbro@aol.com>
Date: 15 October 2006, 1:03 am
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Private James H. Bane slipped on a puddle and fell into the mud. He quickly picked himself up again and keep running through the overgrowth. James was breathing hard, his lungs started to burn, but he didn't stop. James tripped on a rock and fell , he turned around and pointed his gun into the darkness and fired three bursts, he reached for another clip but he all he found was a torn belt. James threw his gun away and tried to get up but something grabbed his feet.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" a cry rang out through the forest. Several marines woke up and looked around. The Captain jumped to his feet.
"On your feet men, everybody head-count are we all here?" the Captain yelled
"James is missing Captain, Paul says he saw him go into the woods about an hour ago" Lt. Brad Felix said after a minute. The Captain picked up his radio
"James, James repeat this is HQ, respond, this is HQ, James respond" Captain said, he tossed the radio to Private Curtis "Keep trying to contact James" The Captain upholster his rifle "Get the men ready for action, something out there might have gotten James" he said to Lt. Brad.
"Sir he might have just bumped his head on a rock by I'll get the men ready" the Lieutenant said before running off to ready the men. The Captain hi-tailed it over to the Pelican and checked to make sure it was ready to fly. Captain went inside and tried to radio UNSC command. The radio was dead. The Captain was just about to try the emergency radio when he heard a voice. "Captain? Captain? You there?" the radio. The Captain grabbed the radio
"Captain here, we have a lost solider down here repeat lost solider" the Captain said into the radio, but it was still dead.
"Captain, Captain, its me" the voice said.
"Conscience? Is that you? I murder you!" the Captain cried.
"Sir it me, Lt. Brad, who the hell is conscience?" the young Lieutenant asked.
"Um...its my..um.. third grade English teacher, but never mind that what are you here for?" the Captain quickly answered.
"You murdered your third grade english teacher? Ok whatever, the men are ready we're waiting for your order."
"Ok lieutenant, lead on."
"Men, it has 0300 hours since private James was last seen, has anyone seen him early than that." the Captain asked his four remaining soldiers.
"Three hundred hours? What the hell sir? I saw him like three hours ago before we went to sleep." Curtis responded.
"Yeah, really sir three hundred hours, that's like fifty years, James is like twenty" Paul cried.
"0300 hours mean three hours num-nuts" the Captain said.
"Oh well in that case when I was on shift guarding the base James went into the woods to take a dump like an hour and a half ago." Paul said.
"Wait if you were on shift then why were you asleep when that scream woke everyone up." the captain asked.
"Hun? Oh that, yeah I just sleep on my shift, I am pilot not a damn guard." Paul responded.
"You're a guard if I say you're a guard god damn it!" Captain yelled.
"I didn't join the army to be yelled at!" Paul returned.
"I didn't draft you into this army to yell at me!" the Captain shouted.
"I didn't smoke weed in highschool just to get drafted" Paul yelled
"I like shouting" Medical Officer Frank shouted.
"Quite Frank" Paul said.
"Yeah Frank really calm down, your like a animal or something" the Captain agreed.
"Hey, you can't agree with me, Frank start yelling" Paul said to the Captain.
"Well you can't dis-agree with me, Frank yell" the captain cried.
"AGGGGGAGGGG" Frank yelled. Paul and the Captain both started firing their rifle into the sky. Private Curtis fell asleep and Lt Brad was still standing at attention.
KAAAAAABOOOOOOOM!!!!!
A massive explosion rang out through the woods. Something back at base had blown up. "I bet it was your stupid dolly collection" Paul told the Captain.
"It was your stupid ancient Chinese vasa." Captain said.
"It was your white jaguar"
"It was your silk robes"
"It was your solid gold necklace."
"It was your face"
"It was your face"
"WEEEE I LOVE YELLING"
"Shut-up Frank"
"Yeah really"
"Hey don't agree with me"
"I hate you"
"I hate you, and your dumb Inanna Jones movies, which is probable what blew up"
"Hey, hey, guys it was proable a fuel tank or something" Lt. Brad said. The group reached the base and looked around. The Pelican had blown up.
If everyone likes it I plan to continue this series, so please in your commenting please say if you would like me to continue the series.
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